Nadindi

burgrs:

if im ever a teacher and i see 1 fuckin kid bullying someone in my goddamn class im going to SHIT on their desk and make them write a 5 page report on what my shit smells like

thatwolfshow:

emmyiskhaleesi:

"Slytherins can’t be brave," Please allow me to direct your attention to Regulus Black, and his storyline which was so conveniently left out of the movies.

Two words: Narcissa Malfoy.

10knotes:

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

blackbanshee:

end0skeletal:

In case you’re having a bad day, here are some animals being idiots.

(via 25 Pets Who Don’t Understand How Furniture Works)

what are even animals

the-real-seebs:

hussarviking:

NEVER trust an adult who won’t apologize to a child

Wow. I’d never seen it put that way, but. Wow. That is a really good piece of advice.

stinkmits:

the assassination of Julius Caesar  

stinkmits:

the assassination of Julius Caesar  

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

Years and years ago, there was a production of The Tempest, out of doors, at an Oxford college on a lawn, which was the stage, and the lawn went back towards the lake in the grounds of the college, and the play began in natural light. But as it developed, and as it became time for Ariel to say his farewell to the world of The Tempest, the evening had started to close in and there was some artificial lighting coming on. And as Ariel uttered his last speech, he turned and he ran across the grass, and he got to the edge of the lake and he just kept running across the top of the water — the producer having thoughtfully provided a kind of walkway an inch beneath the water. And you could see and you could hear the plish, plash as he ran away from you across the top of the lake, until the gloom enveloped him and he disappeared from your view.

And as he did so, from the further shore, a firework rocket was ignited, and it went whoosh into the air, and high up there it burst into lots of sparks, and all the sparks went out, and he had gone.

When you look up the stage directions, it says, ‘Exit Ariel.’

Tom Stoppard, University of Pennsylvania, 1996 (via flameintobeing)
all-four-cheekbones:

masturbatorsanctum:

How it feels to ejaculate : an allegory

son I think you need a doctor

all-four-cheekbones:

masturbatorsanctum:

How it feels to ejaculate : an allegory

son I think you need a doctor

ellyosa:

thedistantgirl:

plagueutopia:

in-twilight-realms:

image

It’s back

I CANT STOP LAUGHING

this will always be my favorite

gayturians:

lyraffect:

gayturians:

once when i was little, i claimed it was a teacher’s work day so i wouldn’t have to go to school and mom’s not an idiot so of course it didn’t work, but when we got to the school, we found it was a teacher’s work day and that made me think i had super powers so i started trying to kill classmates with my mind to confirm the theory

You thought you had super powers so you immediately attempted to murder everyone

go big or go home

dontbedead:

when i find myself in times of trouble
ellen degeneres comes to me

dontbedead:

when i find myself in times of trouble

ellen degeneres comes to me

unclefather:

dialupmodem:

cookingchannel:

Can’t afford the trip down to Florida to swim with the dolphins? Swim with these dolphin-esque bananas instead. 

try n close those containers

You cannot close the containers because then the dolphins couldn’t breathe, idiot

unclefather:

dialupmodem:

cookingchannel:

Can’t afford the trip down to Florida to swim with the dolphins? Swim with these dolphin-esque bananas instead.

try n close those containers

You cannot close the containers because then the dolphins couldn’t breathe, idiot